My grandmother’s birthday was April 20th and in her honor I reposted a blog post about the lost art of kneeling to pray. There was even a song about going to war on our knees. You see I believe that when we kneel before God, we are in total surrender to Him. It is humbling to kneel, but in almost every situation where you find someone kneeling, it is a sign of submission or honor, or reverence. It is always serious…kneeling is never taken lightly.
There have been many times I have found myself on my knees beside my bed, sometimes with my grandmother’s Bible in my hands, reading out Scriptures to God and claiming His promises. I have prayed until a peace descended up on me that was past understanding. On my knees before God is where I find my strength and where He meets me and communes with me.
On April 30th, the devil tried to take this precious privilege away from me. I had an accident at work and I fell and due to the situation, all my weight concentrated in my knees and the impact on the concrete sidewalk was considerable. The doctors showed me the x-ray and said there was a possible tibial plateau fracture. There were deep scratches and bruising and swelling and general pain. I was placed on crutches with a leg restraint for my right knee. I was told that I could not work until further tests were completed.
Then, the waiting began. I was stir crazy. I had so much to do. What if the fracture was bad? What if there was soft tissue damage and they had to do surgery? These were all possibilities the doctor discussed with me.
The devil tried to rob me of my peace and make me fear the unknown. The difficulty of navigating on crutches limited me and caused me great frustration. I found myself confined to the bed or the recliner. I couldn’t drive since I was told not to place any weight on my right leg. In a moment’s time, my whole world turned upside down….and all I could think about was that I couldn’t get on my knees to call out to God. I couldn’t lie in the floor and talk to Him and let Him comfort me. I had been robbed by the greatest thief there ever was.
I thanked God for my knees. I thanked Him for each day and tried to rejoice in the day and be patient. It was not easy. My arms ached from trying to navigate the crutches. The simplest of tasks seemed impossible. I depended upon others when usually I am the one who helps. Roles were reversed. My stress levels rose. I needed answers.
Five days passed and finally the MRI was scheduled to see what damage had been done. I was apprehensive and almost had a panic attack while they were imaging me. All the possibilities poured into my mind. I tried to close my eyes and hum “Peace, peace, wonderful peace…coming down from the Father above…” as the jackhammer sound of the imaging machine roared in my ears.
When it was over, I asked if they knew anything. “It was undefined. I will have to let the radiologist read it and send it to your doctor.” These were the only words I heard. What does “undefined” mean? I hobbled out and back to the car and headed to the doctor’s office. My stress levels rose as I sat and waited once more. I hobbled back to an exam room mumbling about never being able to pass Crutches 101. The doctor heard me and smiled and said it was a hard course to pass.
As I waited, I prayed for peace. Finally, the results came and as she read them off I felt a huge burden roll away from my heart. Nothing is fractured or broken. You have nothing torn. You are very bruised and there is a lot of swelling, but I don’t think you have to have those crutches anymore. You will need to be careful, but you can return to work as long as you take some precautions. I will see you in a week and check the swelling and bruising.
I don’t know how a person on trial must feel when the jury reads the verdict of “not guilty” but I felt as if my life was given back to me today. I carried my crutches and knee restraint out the door. I wanted to look for the nearest local charity to donate them to. My heart was singing “Thank you, Jesus!”
You see, I saw the x-rays. I saw the left knee versus the right knee. I was told that maybe it was just an artifact. Maybe it was not what we thought, but there was a defined hairline fracture. I could see it. The doctor could see it. We compared the knees. I Googled it and saw one just like it on someone else’s leg. The doctor diagnosed it. I have the papers….but five days later…it was not there.
The devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy. Jesus came to give us life…and that more abundantly. On April 30th, the devil tried to steal from me, but what the devil meant for evil…God meant for good. I truly believe God performed a miracle on my knee. I believe that God allowed me to truly have a moment to be thankful for my knees and to help me not take for granted the privilege I have of being able to kneel before Him and offer up my prayers and thanksgiving to Him. He gave me a ‘time out’ to show me just how much I take for granted. I hope that I have learned what He has intended for me to learn. I give Him all the glory for the MRI results. I thank Him for the ability to walk without crutches every day and for the small things that I take for granted. I thank Him for the people He has placed in my life that love and support me.
I can still go to war on my knees. It may take me a few weeks to be able to kneel again, but I will get there and I will always remember what it was like to have that opportunity taken away for a brief time period.
Until next time,